By the way... I'm awesome. 

For more information, please refer to my previous post.

Hairspray was awesome... go see it :)

My last-minute prediction before the book is released: Harry is a horcrux. 

I feel more naked now than I ever have before.  I've had all this baggage before that I don't look back at until I'm in one of those mope-about-everything-that's-wrong-with-life moods.  And I definitely never talk about these things, not even to those absolutely closest to me.  The times I've kind of talked about it with friends, I've been vague or flat-out misleading to protect others or myself.  Or I probably just didn't know what to think.

In case you're curious, it has to do with my various boyfriends/platonic relationships/flings/one-night stands-that-almost-were and the emotional consequences.  (Hopefully those of you who were involved in one or more of these aren't still subscribed to my blog.  Now that'd just be awkward...)

Anyway, I was being moody and avoiding these issues though they were obviously bothering me tonight.  Meggen convinced me to talk.  I was probably getting on her nerves.  I wasn't too detailed or deep when I finally got to talking, but it feels good to have spoken openly and truthfully about the cards I never show.  I admitted to weakness and I admitted to heartbreak.  There's just something about saying stuff out loud that makes you feel like you finally surrendered to yourself.

Meggen is pretty much the most amazing person.  She's unraveling me.  Eventually there isn't going to be any dark and/or twistiness about me left... I'll be boring!

In conclusion, catharsis is a good thing.  And I wanted to share that with you.

I've got another confession to make...

I often start xanga entries, then right before I post, I read through to make sure I didn't spell anything wrong or say something that will hurt someone's feelings.  Then I realize what I just wrote wasn't worth a rat's ass.  And I delete.  But I want to start writing in here again, so hopefully I'll learn to just leave it alone and deal with it if my "subscribers" think I suck.

First of all, congrats to everyone who graduated this month! 

I'm back in Sugar Land and I think I've spent more time laying in bed than I have been standing upright.  This is partially because I've been congested and stuffy since before I got here.  My first night back I went to a party with a bunch of Elkins people, which was really fun.  Nothing like waking up in Sugar Land, reeking of vodka and rolling over an empty Whataburger bag.

Meggen and I exchanged Christmas presents last week, so the holiday excitement has pretty much passed for me.  I loved my presents - the big one was a Nintendo DS, which I've been totally giddy and squealy over.  It's even shared a pillow with me a couple of nights.  The Mario game is awesome because you see characters and themes from the past verisions.  I also brought my family a giant wrapped present for a special Christmas surprise... too bad they looked at it and immediately guessed it was a TV.  Awesome... now the only thing I have to look forward to is midnight mass tomorrow. 

I still have another week off from work, then I'm going to the Alamo Bowl with Meggen, Christine, and Stephie J and spending New Year's in downtown Austin.  Hopefully I'll catch up with some high school friends before I leave town.  I ran into Sherrie at Target yesterday, which was cool because I haven't seen her since her since summer.  I was inspired to organize a mini-reunion while I'm here, but an Alanis Morissette song is playing right now and making me feel angry and pessimistic.

No one gets on AIM anymore.  Including myself.  Why does that weird me out?

Last night I had a revelation about what I'm meant to do with my life and how to shape my career path.  Working in corporate America would be fine with me and I know I'd succeed in anything I pursue, but I realized that it's not for me.  I don't want to give it away just yet (shows you how serious I am about this, I'd usually blab), but it all just makes sense and is perfectly aligned with my desired lifestyle and my skills and passions, on both a personal and professional level.  On top of that, I have the perfect business partner to make it work.  Until I then, I'll have to continue working to pay off my debt and save money, then get my MBA, and gain more relevant experience.  I'm so excited about the future. :)

Lately I've been concerned over my lack of hobbies.  (Last week I went to a dinner hosted by one of my suppliers, and one of their bosses asked me what I do for fun.  I said, "Well, I like watching UT football games... when it's football season... and go out to eat a lot... going downtown with my friends and be skanky every now and then..."  To which he replied, "I've never heard of it referred to like that.")  Since I stopped doing Habitat a year ago, I've had too much free time and nothing to do with it except hang out at Meggen and Christine's.  Even after I've started working full-time, I still need something to do other than the Daily Texan crosswords and watching Giada articulate the names of Italian cheeses.  Well, now I have or am getting new Nintendo games, and I practice cooking every now and then.  I want to start reading on a regular basis, so Meggen and I got Wicked.  Any other literary recommendations?  I probably should start working out, too, but I don't care what anyone says, I'm not joining a kickboxing or hip-hop class.

That's it for now - I'll keep you all updated on my search for a hobby.  Happy holidays and give me a call if you want to hang out!  :)

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool..

Opening Credits: Somewhere Out There – Our Lady Peace

“I hope you remember me when you’re homesick and need a change.  I’ll miss your purple hair, I’ll miss the way you taste."

Waking Up: Til I Hear It from You – Gin Blossoms

“Still thinking about not living without it, outside looking in.”

First Day At School: Ocean Avenue – Yellowcard

“We were both 16 and it felt so right, sleeping all day, staying up all night.”

(Can’t you hear the school bell ringing in the middle of this song?)

Falling In Love: More Than Words – Extreme

“All you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hand and touch me, hold me close don’t ever let me go.”

(I swear I didn’t rig this!! hahaha)

Fight Song: You Were Always On My Mind – Elvis Presley

“Maybe I didn’t treat you quite as good as I should have, maybe I didn’t love you quite as often as I could have.”

(very appropriate… this is just creepy)

Breaking Up: All That She Wants – Ace of Base

“is another baby… eeeyeahh?”

Prom: I’ll Make Love to You – Boyz II Men

“Throw your clothes on the floor, I’m gonna take my clothes off too.”

(very appropriate for prom night)

Life's OK: I Saw the Sign – Ace of Base

“I saw the sign, and it opened up my mind – and I am happy now living without you. I’ve left you, oh ohh-oh-oh.”

(although it doesn’t seem like it, I promise I do have songs post-1996)

Mental Breakdown: Butterfly – Weezer

“I’m sorry for what I did, I did what my body told me to - I didn’t mean to do you harm.”

(yeah, it sounds like the song is narrated by a retard… like Benjy singing to Caddie from “The Sound and the Fury”)

Driving: Follow You Down – Gin Blossoms

“I’ll follow you down… but not THAT far”

(also the chase scene song from “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”)

Flashback: Strangers In the Night – Frank Sinatra

”Something in your eyes was so inviting, something in your smile was so exciting.”

(this works pretty well – does anybody else imagine a creepy penguin? Doo-be-doo-be-doo…)

- Skipped Look What You’ve Done by Jet because I’m a cheater -

Getting Back Together: All I Ask of You – from Phantom of the Opera
”Then say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime.  Let me lead you from your solitude… that’s all I ask of you”

Birth of Child: Lost in Your Eyes – Debbie Gibson

“It’s like being lost in heaven, when I’m lost in your eyes.”

(apparently the reason we got back together is because I got knocked up…)

Wedding: Bridge Over Troubled Water – Simon and Garfunkel

“When evening falls so hard, I will comfort you.”

(note to self: Paul and Art are NOT invited to my wedding)

Final Battle: Just Lose It - Eminem
”Could you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair?  Spit on me, maybe gouge my eyes out?”

(Oops I mean girl, girl girl girl… I mean, boy.  I mean girl?)

- Be My Escape by Relient K came up first but I hate that song; and Superman by Eminem, having two Eminem songs in a row is unheard of -

Death Scene: Say It Ain’t So – Weezer
”You cleaned up, found Jesus, things are good or so I hear”

(I’m dying?  Say it aint so!)

Funeral Song: Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen 

“Goodbye everybody, I’ve got to go… Mama, I don’t want to die, I sometimes wish I had never been born at all”

(longest funeral ever… and will everyone start headbanging in the middle of it??)

End Credits: Unpretty – TLC

“At the end of the day, I have myself to blame.”

How I managed to shuffle through my playlist without running into any Beatles, Bee Gees, or Journey is beyond me... I'm kind of sad.  How I managed to shuffle through my playlist and run into two Ace of Base, Gin Blossoms, and Eminem songs is beyond me... I'm kind of sad.